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Thread started 05/28/09 7:28pm

nakedpianoplay
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is it wrong to not care?

lately i have been being pushed by my family to be in a relationship, im not really sure why mind you - im definately not a person who has to be in one to be happy! im thinking that eleven years of being single might make it difficult to join in a relationship with no reservations at all lol... they say it would be 'good' for me, but i dont really feel like im doing bad now, am i?? and why do others assume that you have to have a mate to feel complete? why cant you just be on your own and live your life and if he comes into your life great, if not, thats fine too???


have people ever pushed you into finding someone??
One of the best days of my life... http://prince.org/msg/100/291111


love is a gift heart

an artist with no fans is really just a man with a hobby....
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Reply #1 posted 05/28/09 7:33pm

luv4u

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Yes I have had that tried on me in the past after being divorced from an abusive asshole some years ago.

If you are happy the way your life is right now then keep doing what you're doing. I think if you meet someone down the road and you are ready, the key word is "ready", then you'll enter into a relationship.

Why change things to suit others? You are the one in charge of your life.

Tell them you are not in a rush to meet anyone. I'm sure they mean well, but sometimes you got to put your foot down and not let others run you.

Just enjoy the freedom of being single.

rose
canada

Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
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Reply #2 posted 05/28/09 7:36pm

nakedpianoplay
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thanks luv hug

seriously though, why is it that people view a single woman who doesnt mind being single as wrong???? why does everyone have to have a relationship to be successful? seriously, i may not have a man in my life until my kids are gone, thats another 7 years - and theres nothing that says im gonna do it then either! its not that i dont like men, i think they are wonderful...im not a man hater, im just very secure in what i need and dont need, and a man is not something that i HAVE to have to be happy shrug
One of the best days of my life... http://prince.org/msg/100/291111


love is a gift heart

an artist with no fans is really just a man with a hobby....
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Reply #3 posted 05/28/09 7:37pm

paintedlady

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nakedpianoplayer said:

thanks luv hug

seriously though, why is it that people view a single woman who doesnt mind being single as wrong???? why does everyone have to have a relationship to be successful? seriously, i may not have a man in my life until my kids are gone, thats another 7 years - and theres nothing that says im gonna do it then either! its not that i dont like men, i think they are wonderful...im not a man hater, im just very secure in what i need and dont need, and a man is not something that i HAVE to have to be happy shrug


IMO, the ones that love us don't want us to be alone. Luv is right, feel free to keep yourself happy... they should respect you enough to let you do just that.

rose
[Edited 5/28/09 19:40pm]
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Reply #4 posted 05/28/09 7:38pm

luv4u

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nakedpianoplayer said:

thanks luv hug

seriously though, why is it that people view a single woman who doesnt mind being single as wrong???? why does everyone have to have a relationship to be successful? seriously, i may not have a man in my life until my kids are gone, thats another 7 years - and theres nothing that says im gonna do it then either! its not that i dont like men, i think they are wonderful...im not a man hater, im just very secure in what i need and dont need, and a man is not something that i HAVE to have to be happy shrug


And there you have it biggrin

And not having to answer to anyone. Enjoy your kids growing up.
canada

Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
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Reply #5 posted 05/28/09 7:44pm

thekidsgirl

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Everyone I know wants to "set me up" or help me find someone neutral
If you will, so will I
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Reply #6 posted 05/28/09 7:47pm

luv4u

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thekidsgirl said:

Everyone I know wants to "set me up" or help me find someone neutral


Why? eek
canada

Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
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Reply #7 posted 05/28/09 8:14pm

angel345

nakedpianoplayer said:

lately i have been being pushed by my family to be in a relationship, im not really sure why mind you - im definately not a person who has to be in one to be happy! im thinking that eleven years of being single might make it difficult to join in a relationship with no reservations at all lol... they say it would be 'good' for me, but i dont really feel like im doing bad now, am i?? and why do others assume that you have to have a mate to feel complete? why cant you just be on your own and live your life and if he comes into your life great, if not, thats fine too???


have people ever pushed you into finding someone??

I remember when I was in my teens and early twenties, my grandmother who is deceased used to try and fix me up with guys, but I find that you have to let nature take its course, don't force it.
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Reply #8 posted 05/28/09 8:19pm

IAintTheOne

Just be.. that's all what it is about
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Reply #9 posted 05/28/09 8:28pm

purpleizpassio
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I understand how you feel. I get accused of being picky or mean. It's not that at all. I LOVE loving someone else. I just don't feel like that I should offer that to just anyone for the sake of not being single anymore. Especially when you have children, you don't have time to play around. Too much at stake. Nekkie, do what you have to do for yourself and your beautiful kids. Be happy and be complete just as you are. Best thing you could offer any man when that time comes.
Shake....shake, shake, shake.
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Reply #10 posted 05/28/09 9:56pm

nakedpianoplay
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purpleizpassion said:

I understand how you feel. I get accused of being picky or mean. It's not that at all. I LOVE loving someone else. I just don't feel like that I should offer that to just anyone for the sake of not being single anymore. Especially when you have children, you don't have time to play around. Too much at stake. Nekkie, do what you have to do for yourself and your beautiful kids. Be happy and be complete just as you are. Best thing you could offer any man when that time comes.

i like that sentence, 'i love loving someone' mushy

but thats just it, i think my plate is full right now with my kids - they keep me more than busy trust me! and honestly i think that adding someone else to the picture at this point in any of our lives would be a mistake. im afraid the relationship would be messed up from jump, ya know? a man doesnt fit in my life right now, im not sure i would honestly be able to be the woman he needs me to be 24 hours a day... best i could offer him would be to give him all my attention after the kids are down for the night - and thats no relationship if you ask me lol.

i would say its just my friends and family, but lately its been my kids too eek im like, wtf?? i just wanna tell them all to chill out, im alright! my son though, hes very sweet, he says "momma, you know im gonna be leaving in a few years for college right? i need to know that someone is taking care of you while im gone, i think its time for you to have a man in your life"

when he says it like that, with such sweet and innocent eyes, it makes my heart melt... he will be fine when he sees that momma will miss him when that day comes, but momma will also be just fine wink


yay for the single girls woot!
One of the best days of my life... http://prince.org/msg/100/291111


love is a gift heart

an artist with no fans is really just a man with a hobby....
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Reply #11 posted 05/28/09 9:56pm

thekidsgirl

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luv4u said:

thekidsgirl said:

Everyone I know wants to "set me up" or help me find someone neutral


Why? eek


I don't know! lol

ppl act like they're doing me a big favor by giving me the lowdown on guys I'm not interested in and then saying "oh, you deserve I guy like him! You should be more open"
If you will, so will I
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Reply #12 posted 05/28/09 10:00pm

nakedpianoplay
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thekidsgirl said:

luv4u said:



Why? eek


I don't know! lol

ppl act like they're doing me a big favor by giving me the lowdown on guys I'm not interested in and then saying "oh, you deserve I guy like him! You should be more open"

you should be more open falloff girl, how many times have i heard that????

and the whole, you deserve statement, i get that one too! what i deserve is to have my loved ones be ok with the life that i have and stop pushin.


hug girl, i hope you find what youre looking for...be it a man, or not - HAPPINESS is what you deserve!!
One of the best days of my life... http://prince.org/msg/100/291111


love is a gift heart

an artist with no fans is really just a man with a hobby....
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #13 posted 05/28/09 10:01pm

Byron

I am insanely comfortable being by myself nod...maybe too much so lol...
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Reply #14 posted 05/28/09 10:04pm

nakedpianoplay
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Byron said:

I am insanely comfortable being by myself nod...maybe too much so lol...

insanely comfortable, im gonna use that the next time they ask me about a man thumbs up!
One of the best days of my life... http://prince.org/msg/100/291111


love is a gift heart

an artist with no fans is really just a man with a hobby....
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #15 posted 05/28/09 10:05pm

thekidsgirl

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nakedpianoplayer said:

thekidsgirl said:



I don't know! lol

ppl act like they're doing me a big favor by giving me the lowdown on guys I'm not interested in and then saying "oh, you deserve I guy like him! You should be more open"

you should be more open falloff girl, how many times have i heard that????

and the whole, you deserve statement, i get that one too! what i deserve is to have my loved ones be ok with the life that i have and stop pushin.


hug girl, i hope you find what youre looking for...be it a man, or not - HAPPINESS is what you deserve!!


hug thats exactly what I'm talking about
If you will, so will I
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Reply #16 posted 05/28/09 10:17pm

Mara

SORTA LIKE A DREAM, ISN'T IT? [NO, BETTER.]SORTA LIKE A DREAMNO WAY DOWN [EP].:. AIR FRANCE

SORTA LIKE A DREAM, ISN'T IT? [NO, BETTER.]SORTA LIKE A DREAMNO WAY DOWN [EP].:. AIR FRANCE .2009 .:sincerely yours







SORTA LIKE A DREAM, ISN'T IT? [NO, BETTER.]SORTA LIKE A DREAMNO WAY DOWN [EP].:. AIR FRANCE

SORTA LIKE A DREAM, ISN'T IT? [NO, BETTER.]SORTA LIKE A DREAMNO WAY DOWN [EP].:. AIR FRANCE
SORTA LIKE A DREAM, ISN'T IT? [NO, BETTER.]SORTA LIKE A DREAMNO WAY DOWN [EP].:. AIR FRANCE
SORTA LIKE A DREAM, ISN'T IT? [NO, BETTER.]SORTA LIKE A DREAMNO WAY DOWN [EP].:. AIR FRANCE .2009

...
[Edited 11/12/09 23:26pm]

...
[Edited 11/12/09 23:31pm]
[Edited 11/12/09 23:33pm]
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Reply #17 posted 05/28/09 10:18pm

Byron

nakedpianoplayer said:

Byron said:

I am insanely comfortable being by myself nod...maybe too much so lol...

insanely comfortable, im gonna use that the next time they ask me about a man thumbs up!

Feel free to use it lol nod...it's royalty free. cool
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Reply #18 posted 05/29/09 3:44am

endymion

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Byron said:

I am insanely comfortable being by myself nod...maybe too much so lol...


I have been married for years and i am very happy biggrin

However quite often i feel that i am better suited to being single, not in a i wanna boff new people way, just in a i think that i was made that way, way.

Perhaps it has something to do with being an only child hmmm
What you don't remember never happened
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Reply #19 posted 05/29/09 3:54am

ZombieKitten

endymion said:

Byron said:

I am insanely comfortable being by myself nod...maybe too much so lol...


I have been married for years and i am very happy biggrin

However quite often i feel that i am better suited to being single, not in a i wanna boff new people way, just in a i think that i was made that way, way.

Perhaps it has something to do with being an only child hmmm


I don't think that is so unusual, sometimes when I put the rubbish out at night, I want to run away and keep running.
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Reply #20 posted 05/29/09 7:37am

thekidsgirl

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ZombieKitten said:

endymion said:



I have been married for years and i am very happy biggrin

However quite often i feel that i am better suited to being single, not in a i wanna boff new people way, just in a i think that i was made that way, way.

Perhaps it has something to do with being an only child hmmm


I don't think that is so unusual, sometimes when I put the rubbish out at night, I want to run away and keep running.



It's no big deal to feel like that sometimes, but if it were everynight I'd be concerned. I think we all want a break from life sometimes
If you will, so will I
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Reply #21 posted 05/29/09 7:40am

ZombieKitten

thekidsgirl said:

ZombieKitten said:



I don't think that is so unusual, sometimes when I put the rubbish out at night, I want to run away and keep running.



It's no big deal to feel like that sometimes, but if it were everynight I'd be concerned. I think we all want a break from life sometimes


I don't put the rubbish out EVERY night, thank goodness biggrin
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Reply #22 posted 05/29/09 7:42am

Dayclear

It is a pleasuree being single, I have been for 13 years. from what I see of relationships lately I just think misery loves company.
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Reply #23 posted 05/29/09 8:01am

CarrieMpls

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When I was younger I had extended family members who would comment, ask about boyfriends, etc. starting as early as when I was about 14. Boys still had cooties when I was 14! lol

These days, people I haven’t seen in a while usually ask me if I’m dating anyone when we catch up, but that’s about the extent of it. I don’t really get questioned about being single anymore. I think everyone in my life knows me as single way more than anything else. I know me as single way more than anything else. lol

If you’re happy, just tell them so. Don’t let it bother you.
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Reply #24 posted 05/29/09 8:02am

PunkMistress

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nakedpianoplayer said:

lately i have been being pushed by my family to be in a relationship, im not really sure why mind you - im definately not a person who has to be in one to be happy! im thinking that eleven years of being single might make it difficult to join in a relationship with no reservations at all lol... they say it would be 'good' for me, but i dont really feel like im doing bad now, am i?? and why do others assume that you have to have a mate to feel complete? why cant you just be on your own and live your life and if he comes into your life great, if not, thats fine too???


have people ever pushed you into finding someone??


It's such bullshit when people try to force that shit. Of course it's not wrong not to care. It's healthy.

Isn't it better to be single if the right person hasn't come along, than to be one of those sad and desperate people who jump from relationship to relationship because they just can't handle being alone?
It's what you make it.
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Reply #25 posted 05/29/09 8:09am

CarrieMpls

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PunkMistress said:

nakedpianoplayer said:

lately i have been being pushed by my family to be in a relationship, im not really sure why mind you - im definately not a person who has to be in one to be happy! im thinking that eleven years of being single might make it difficult to join in a relationship with no reservations at all lol... they say it would be 'good' for me, but i dont really feel like im doing bad now, am i?? and why do others assume that you have to have a mate to feel complete? why cant you just be on your own and live your life and if he comes into your life great, if not, thats fine too???


have people ever pushed you into finding someone??


It's such bullshit when people try to force that shit. Of course it's not wrong not to care. It's healthy.

Isn't it better to be single if the right person hasn't come along, than to be one of those sad and desperate people who jump from relationship to relationship because they just can't handle being alone?

I agree with you whole-heartedly. I absolutely do.

But without looking at the extreme example of the opposite being sad and desperate and jumping from relationship to relationship, there is the notion that there may(must?) be something wrong with you if you can't find a reasonably decent person to date - especially if it's over years at a time.

I think there can sometimes be something to that, even when it comes to myself. lol.
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Reply #26 posted 05/29/09 8:11am

PunkMistress

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CarrieMpls said:

PunkMistress said:



It's such bullshit when people try to force that shit. Of course it's not wrong not to care. It's healthy.

Isn't it better to be single if the right person hasn't come along, than to be one of those sad and desperate people who jump from relationship to relationship because they just can't handle being alone?

I agree with you whole-heartedly. I absolutely do.

But without looking at the extreme example of the opposite being sad and desperate and jumping from relationship to relationship, there is the notion that there may(must?) be something wrong with you if you can't find a reasonably decent person to date - especially if it's over years at a time.

I think there can sometimes be something to that, even when it comes to myself. lol.


Yeah, sometimes, but not necessarily. I know people who are very happily unattached, who lead rich and fulfilling lives, and I also know people who are unattached and lonely. Just like anything else, one aspect of your life shouldn't define you. And people's assumptions should go right back up their ass.
It's what you make it.
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Reply #27 posted 05/29/09 8:13am

CarrieMpls

Ex-Moderator

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PunkMistress said:

CarrieMpls said:


I agree with you whole-heartedly. I absolutely do.

But without looking at the extreme example of the opposite being sad and desperate and jumping from relationship to relationship, there is the notion that there may(must?) be something wrong with you if you can't find a reasonably decent person to date - especially if it's over years at a time.

I think there can sometimes be something to that, even when it comes to myself. lol.


Yeah, sometimes, but not necessarily. I know people who are very happily unattached, who lead rich and fulfilling lives, and I also know people who are unattached and lonely. Just like anything else, one aspect of your life shouldn't define you. And people's assumptions should go right back up their ass.


Hell yeah!
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Reply #28 posted 05/29/09 12:37pm

Mars23

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I would say, judging by the condition of your throat, you're at least having relations if not in a relationship.
Studies have shown the ass crack of the average Prince fan to be abnormally large. This explains the ease and frequency of their panties bunching up in it.
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Reply #29 posted 05/29/09 1:07pm

JustErin

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Mars23 said:

I would say, judging by the condition of your throat, you're at least having relations if not in a relationship.


lol

As for me, never. No one has ever pushed me to find a man and settle down.
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