If you were a celebrity what would the tabloids say about you?

If you were a celebrity what would the tabloids say about you? or the blogs?

Too fat, can't keep a man, has a drinking problem...I could go on and on!

I'm sig-less. Happy, fuckers?

that i'm fat (or maybe preggers)

that i'm a shut in

that i steal men (which is so not true!)

that i'm nerdy

Recluse, crazy, drug addict, sex addict, misogynist, juicer, self-destructive personality

#2 behind Sarah Jessica Parker in least sexy celebrity list

I forgot to mention to write it out as an actual tabloid headline ok here goes mine:

"Paradisekiss03 says, 'I was only at the local Specs to research a role' "

They'd probably say that I'm fat, since it seems like anyone that isn't a stick figure is fat in the tabloids and blogs,have fake boobs, and that I must be a lesbian since I haven't had a boyfriend in a long time (someone has said this to me before )



This actually makes me think of high school

JauxShokie

Gawd, I don't even wanna go there!!!

"She's anti-anorexic!"

YOU & ME 4EVER IT IS!!
~~

wildgoldenhoney said:

"She's anti-anorexic!"

JauxShokie

Okay:

"Eikonoklastes hasn't left $17 mansion in 3 months"
"Eikono accused of beating 9 yo boy"
"Eikono shot at paparazzi"
"Eikono in hospital for 3rd time in 2 months after OD"
"Shocking home video: drug crazed Eikono making misogynistic remarks at son's birthday party"
"Eikono arrested for steroid possession"
"Eikono settles out of court with high class escort"
"Experts say: Eikono wearing long sleeves to hide scars"

eikonoklastes said:

eikonoklastes said:

Paradisekiss03 said:

eikonoklastes said:

Paradisekiss03 said:

how about the one where a "source" reveals all to the tabloids.

"All"? Including proof that roids don't make your penis shrink?

ASSxiety Throws THIRD department store tantrum in a week!!!

eikonoklastes said:

Paradisekiss03 said:

how about the one where a "source" reveals all to the tabloids.

"All"? Including proof that roids don't make your penis shrink?

Anxiety said:

Paradisekiss03 said:

* That I take on countless clandestine gay lovers
* That I have ties (based on my undergrad activity) to a who's-who of dangerous radical activists
* That I am a crazed bipolar maniac behind closed doors
* That I am unabashedly anti-American and perhaps that I'm even selling secrets to... Canada!

"We ain't gonna make any money off of her, this bitch is lazy....let's go!"

Fauxie said:

secret lezbo... boozehound. they'd have a field day with me!

"Cow had udder implants...see the scars!"

"Cow in threesome with two randy bulls"

"Cow gives chocolate milk...steroids blamed"

"Cow caught buying grass in park"

"George Clooney and Cow...more than friends?"

"Cow gives birth to twins in France"

"L. Ron Hubbard was actually a cow, says new scientologist Cow"

Anxiety said:

Fauxie said:

Anxiety said:

i swear, my tabloid persona would probably be a cross between gary busey and kirstie alley.

That's funny. I was just thinking that JustErin's candid tabloid photographs would be a cross between Gary Coleman and Kirstie Alley.

And I don't even know quite what I mean by that!

Anxiety said:

Fauxie said:

That's funny. I was just thinking that JustErin's candid tabloid photographs would be a cross between Gary Coleman and Kirstie Alley.

And I don't even know quite what I mean by that!

whenever i see a picture of kirstie looking all bloated and hungover, looking like shit and giving the paps the finger, i always think "there but for the grace of obscurity go i".

JustErin said:

Too fat, can't keep a man, has a drinking problem...I could go on and on!

Fauxie said:

Anxiety said:

i swear, my tabloid persona would probably be a cross between gary busey and kirstie alley.

That's funny. I was just thinking that JustErin's candid tabloid photographs would be a cross between Gary Coleman and Kirstie Alley.

And I don't even know quite what I mean by that!

I'm sig-less. Happy, fuckers?

Fauxie said:

Anxiety said:

whenever i see a picture of kirstie looking all bloated and hungover, looking like shit and giving the paps the finger, i always think "there but for the grace of obscurity go i".

But I like women and I would rather put my penis in your bottom than anywhere within 20 feet of Kirstie Alley.

Yeah, I've got compliments for days.