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Word game I saw this the other day. The Washington Post has a yearly contest where readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words -- and the winners were: . . .
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. 7. Lymph (v), to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. 13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. 14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist. 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. So do you have any ro add to the list? "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"-Dr Seuss
Pain is something to carry, like a radio...You should stand up for your right to feel your pain- Jim Morrison | |
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cloud (n): a tw...
buster (n): ...at | |
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flatulence that one was funny
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canadian - able to assist mr holm
american - a happy metal cylinder spaniard - cover the distance of 91 centimetres pakistani - put the curly red haired girl from asia in a bag portuguese - unfortunate couple of birds sudanese - press charges against the brother's daughter | |
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retina said: portuguese - unfortunate couple of birds
love it. ok ummm... kentucky - ability to hide house key between your bosom carpet - that little bobblehead dog on your dashboard | |
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Homogenize (v.), when "gays" in fact do convert "straights."
Gymnastics (v.), masturbation in the locker room or shower of the gym. Crumudgeon (n.), the residual smear left on clothing after you try to brush-off food crumbs. Craigslist (n.), Sen. Larry Craig's list of favorite DL public restrooms. Minister (v), to stir quickly for only one or two strokes. Bisexuality (v.), the act of having to pay for sex. Chris Rock (n.), abbreviation for Christian Rock music. Hairlip (n.), that stray pubic hair that always seems to find its way to the mouth. Follicle (adj.), to behave in an extremely jovial way that inspires folly. Debutante (v.), the teasing of a girl named 'Debbie.' Judaism (n.), the cult following of anyone named 'Judy.' Gynocology (n.), what a woman thinks she knows about the male species. Nuptuals (n.), an extremely large pair of round breasts. Nipples (n.), a convenient snack food. Retard (v.), to tar again. Fingernail (v.), to poke repeatedly with the finger. Hard-On (n.), from the makers of Head-On, apply directly to the.... Hassellhoff (v.), to harrass to the point of drinking and binge-eating on video. Elipses (n.), the labia. Silicone (n.), that funny-looking pointy-bra worn by Madonna during the "Truth or Dare" era. Leotard (v.), when Leo tarred it. Rectal Appendectomy (n.), the medical procedure to remove one's ass from the lips of another following an ass-kissing. Cranial Appendectomy (n.), the medical procedure to remove one's head from his/her own ass. That's all I've got for now! | |
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emm said: retina said: portuguese - unfortunate couple of birds
love it. Thanks. ok ummm...
kentucky - ability to hide house key between your bosom You have plenty of Kentucky I bet. | |
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thefrog said: cloud (n): a tw...
buster (n): ...at "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"-Dr Seuss
Pain is something to carry, like a radio...You should stand up for your right to feel your pain- Jim Morrison | |
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Copulation - Sex between consenting policemen.
paradox-two physicians Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. Cobra: A brasseire for conjoined twins. [Edited 9/26/07 18:41pm] "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"-Dr Seuss
Pain is something to carry, like a radio...You should stand up for your right to feel your pain- Jim Morrison | |
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Penal system (n.), the male reproductive system.
TicketMaster (n.), the supreme god of concert-going basically in charge of your whole enjoyment of the show. Polterguist (v.), to ask your wife or mother repeatedly where something is until she gets frustrated and finally shows you herself. ("Honey, where's the mustard?") Tofu (n.), a foot fetish that is limited to only the toes. Kung-fu (n.), cunnilingus. Fungus (n.), fun with any guy named 'Gus.' | |
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thefrog said: cloud (n): a tw...
buster (n): ...at | |
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