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Real labels Okay, I'm sure this must have been posted sometime before, but if that's the case it's worth a rerun.
I present to you, some actual, genuine, real-life labels: On Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestions: Defrost. Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert: Do not turn upside down. On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication. On Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness. On most brands of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. On a Swedish chain saw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. On a toboggan: Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions. On a knife sharpener: Caution: knives are sharp. On shin pads for cyclists: Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover. On a take away coffee cup: Caution: Hot beverages are hot. Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp: In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly. In a microwave oven manual: Do not use for drying pets. On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft: Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing. On the bottom of a cola bottle: Do not open here. On a Harry Potter wizards broom: This broom does not actually fly. On a box of aspirin: Do not take if allergic to aspirin. On a bottle of laundry detergent: Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine. On a muffin packet: Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat. In a kettle instruction manual: The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON' position. On a ketchup bottle: Instructions: Put on food. On a bottle of rum: Open bottle before drinking. A car park sign: Entrance only. Do not enter. A sign in a street in Hong Kong: Beware of people. Rules on a tram in Prague: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted. Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA: Take care: new non-slip surface. On a can of air freshener: For use by trained personnel only. On a bottle of baby lotion: Keep away from children. On a pair of socks bought in egypt: Do not wash. On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle: Some assembly required. On a can of pepper spray used for self defense: May irritate eyes. On a Frisbee: Warning: may contain small parts. In a car handbook: In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors. On a packet of cashew nut pieces: Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts. Directions for mosquito repellant: Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one. On a birthday card for a one year old: Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less. In a hotel bedroom: Please do not turn on TV except when in use. In a lift in a Japanese hotel: Push this button in case anything happens. On a toilet cleaning brush: Do not use orally. On a can of Spray paint: Do not spray in your face. On a TV remote: Not Dishwasher safe. On a blowtorch: Not used for drying hair. On a washing machine inn a launderette: No small children. On a bottle of hair dye: Do not use as Ice Cream topping. On a push along lawn mower: Not to be used as a hedge trimmer. On a box of fireworks: Do not put in mouth. On the packaging for a wrist watch: Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants. In a dishwasher manual: Do not allow children to play in dishwasher. On a toaster: Do not use underwater. On a mattress: Do not attempt to swallow | |
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What? No replies at all? I knew this list had been doing the rounds on the internet already, but I didn't think that everybody had seen it.
Or am I the only one who thinks it's funny? | |
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I refuse to let this thread die until someone at least acknowledges that the "On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body" one was funny. | |
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they're quite funny. but also sad because you know the reason they exist is because some poor fool actually made that mistake | |
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I love you "..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.." | |
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senik said: I love you Now that's the level of appreciation I was looking for. | |
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XxAxX said: they're quite funny. but also sad because you know the reason they exist is because some poor fool actually made that mistake
I know! That's what makes them so hilarious. I can just imagine someone buying a toaster and going "hmm, it sure would be nice with a newly made toast while I'm scuba diving." | |
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retina said: senik said: I love you Now that's the level of appreciation I was looking for. Sorry... posted on the wrong thread "..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.." | |
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Moderator | Thanks I needed that! In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. |
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XxAxX said: they're quite funny. but also sad because you know the reason they exist is because some poor fool actually made that mistake
A friend of mine's uncle knew the guy who stopped (for a few seconds anyways) the chainsaw with his genitals :OjitheFanKeybumpersticker: | |
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retina said: Okay, I'm sure this must have been posted sometime before, but if that's the case it's worth a rerun.
I present to you, some actual, genuine, real-life labels: On a muffin packet: Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat. To all my little Hulkamaniacs, say your prayers, take your vitamins and you will never go wrong. | |
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HulkHogan said: retina said: Okay, I'm sure this must have been posted sometime before, but if that's the case it's worth a rerun.
I present to you, some actual, genuine, real-life labels: On a muffin packet: Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat. I was wondering why I couldn't eat muffins. None of the other wrappers explained I actually had to open my mouth. | |
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retina said: HulkHogan said: I was wondering why I couldn't eat muffins. None of the other wrappers explained I actually had to open my mouth. I wonder if it's those Otis Spunkenmyer(sp?) muffins they're talkin' about Those chocolate muffins are so good, if you heat them up for a few seconds To all my little Hulkamaniacs, say your prayers, take your vitamins and you will never go wrong. | |
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